You don’t know what life is going to be like.  You think you do.  But you don’t.  One day you wake up and have a moment of clarity and realize…, “wow this is not my life at all: it isn’t at all what I thought, or dreamed, or imagined.”   But another day (many circumstances removed) you will have a moment of clarity and realize…, “wow this looks like how I thought my life would be.” Life is funny that way.  Irony.  The life I knew I would have grew out of the ruin of the life I tried so hard to make work.