Thursday, July 7, 2011


Coming unhinged. From a long strange entanglement. Which was suppose to be “until death do us part”. So maybe this unhingedment is death. A type of death. A death within a life that is bound for death. Something likes that. A death of a cherished outcome. A death of the “best laid plans….” A dying to an identity as a melded one. When you give your life to someone, it is for pretend, or it is for real. And if it is for real, you really give your life away. To a notion. To an ideal of some sort. To a fantasy. But you give your life to it. In the same way a solder gives his life to the army. To do with as they will. For the notion of it. Marriage is the same thing. You give yourself to something you do not control. No on controls a marriage. Because no one controls human hearts. Human souls. Human desires and intentions. And no one controls outcomes when it comes to matters of the heart. So, in marriage, as in the Army, some do not come out alive. Some do not come out still married. Some die. I died.

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