Saturday, February 15, 2014

Thank you all for the birthday nods.  Turning 51 is like - - - well, turning 51.  I mean, you have a lot to look at.  You can see most of what you have been able to put together.  And it is pretty amazing. I have a ton to be thankful for.  I could list it all here, but it pretty much boils down to my wife, my kids, my friends, and my family.  Beyond that, as far as what I have accomplished, well, it is what it isn’t, and it is what it is.  And I have to know that it is what I have made of it.  At 51 you kind of figure, ok, maybe 20 years left.  Maybe more, maybe less.  I figure 71 is pushing it, given how I have treated myself.   71 is a lot farther than I ever thought I would go.  81 would mean medical advances and lucky gene draw.   I can see myself still doing things at 71. But after that, I just see a drop off the like those old maps of the flat world.  What I know, what I can imagine, and then the edge where only dragons and gods can be drawn.  And they are crude renditions at that.  So 20 years is….  It’s a lot.  At 20 that is your whole life.  So 20 seem like a lot. At 40 it is half time.  At 60 it is thirds.  At 100, 20 years is a fifth.  But 20 years now, tacked onto 50, is not like 20 years tacked onto 0.  It’s a lot different.  A day now is like a month at 7.  When I was 8, a year was an eternity.  At 51 a year is like, “oh crap, did that get by me already?”  It’s gone.  A week is a hiccup.   A Month is maybe a few days to catch my breath, maybe.  A year – wow.  I don’t even want to think about that.  So 20 years after 50 is kind of like dog years.  Each year is really more like 1/7th of a year.   So in terms of what I can realistically expect to accomplish,   well.  Let’s just say, as a realist, not so much.  As an optimist, maybe a lot. As an idealist, oh what I could do with 20 years.   Thank God for idealism.  20 years is a good amount of time.  I just need to constantly remind myself how much I can get done in a day, if I want to.  Be very well all my friends and family.  I love you.

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